Monday, December 14, 2009

Strange Fairy Tales 22 IN ENGLISH

Good day to you out there. Oh ye non-spanish-speakers... Per the Scriptwriter's idea, we are posting a translation of episode 22 so that everyone may enjoy it. Here goes:

NARRATOR: Hello, and welcome to the twenty-second episode of the podcast Strange Fairy Tales. The story for today is "La Llorona Cabra". If you haven't realized yet, we are speaking entirely in Spanish today.

FRED: What? We're speaking in Spanish? Oh dear, I can't speak Spanish.

SCRIPTWRITER: For today you can, Fred. Just read the script and everything will be fine.

FRED: Oh, like this?

SCRIPTWRITER: Yes. Very good.

FRED: But what about all the listeners who don't speak Spanish?

SCRIPTWRITER: That's a good point. Well, they can pick up a new language. It's good for them you know.

NARRATOR: True, but Scriptwriter, until that point they won't be able to understand this episode.

SCRIPTWRITER: Ok, well we'll type up a translation and put it on the website. (and you already know the URL otherwise you wouldn't be here!) Continue Narrator.

NARRATOR: Of course. Unfortunately, our story can not be very funny today, because we have a serious problem. Well, someone has a serious problem... A little while ago, we recieved information about a very strange crime. It seemed to be both a robbery and a murder. A goat told us that one day, she sent her kids to play in the park. This was usual for them, and it didn't worry their mom. But when the kids didn't return, she knew something was wrong. She called the police, and they discovered that the little goats were still in the park... with no blood. They were still living, but they were a little pale, and couldn't move an inch! The mother was very troubled. Her kids were nothing but empty shells.

FRED: Poor things. Imagine what it would be like to have no blood!

EX-GENERAL: Yeah. I am sure that I would feel jealous of snakes who always slither through cities. Without blood, I could no longer dream of--

SCRIPTWRITER: Stop! Stop! Stop! These S's are stupid! Seriously, every single sentence you say is saturated with S's!


TOUCAN SAM: Sounds like someone's sensitive.


NARRATOR: Hey, calm down Scriptwriter. Let's not forget that you wrote the script.

SCRIPTWRITER: Good point. Well, shall we stop stalling, and start?

NARRATOR: Sure. The goat discovered that the police didn't have any suspects, or any clues. She wandered the countryside for months on end, crying forcefully. In some cities, she became known as "La Llorona Cabra" because she cried so much. Finally, she realized that she could ask us for help. She thought that we would be able to help her. Scriptwriter, what do you think?

SCRIPTWRITER: We should help. Perhaps we can find the thief! Let's invite him to the office.

NARRATOR: Do you think he will come?

SCRIPTWRITER: I don't know, but we don't lose anything for trying. Ahem. IF YOU ARE LISTENING, WOULD YOU COME TO THE OFFICE? PRETTY PLEASE? Thief, oh thief!

NARRATOR: Dun dun DUUUUUN! We will continue after these messages.

**We're sorry, the text for the advertisement could not be located. Please learn Spanish and try again.**

SCRIPTWRITER: Thief, oh thief!

FRED: ... Oh dear, it's Harley and Barley!

SCRIPTWRITER: Have you come to confess to the crime?

EX-GENERAL: They're always trouble.

TOUCAN SAM: It's true.

SCRIPTWRITER: Silence! They speak:

HARLEY: The man with the hat sent us.

NARRATOR: The man with the hat? Where?

BARLEY: He told us many amusing stories.

NARRATOR: Did you commit the crime or not?

HARLEY&BARLEY: Ho ho ho ho ho ho!

SCRIPTWRITER: Did you have a motive?

BARLEY: We eat turtles tonight!

HARLEY: They will be very good, huh?

BARLEY: YEAH! I am happy.

SCRIPTWRITER: Turtles are very delicious, but you should steal things from innocent people.

POLICEMAN: Open the door!

HARLEY: Oh no! It's the police!

BARLEY: The police? Nooooooooooooo!

POLICEMAN: Yes, I am a policeman....

HARLEY: We're innocent! The man with the hat sent us!

BARLEY: We didn't mean to hurt anyone! It was he!



CHUPACABRA: Hello. They call me the Chupacabra. For months, I have waited for someone to discover that I am the thief! Yes, I have the blood!

POLICEMAN: You're under arrest. ... Aaahh! ... Come here.

CHUPACABRA: I don't think I will.

POLICEMAN: Sir, would you please come here?


POLICEMAN: I would arrest you, but you have very sharp claws.

CHUPACABRA: Oh, thank you.

NARRATOR: Pardon me. Perhaps you could release el Chupacabra into our custody. We have a job offer for him.

POLICEMAN: That's OK. But I have to arrest those bumblebees.

HARLEY: Again? I don't like jail.

BARLEY: I don't like jail either. Let's go Harley!

FRED: They're gone!

POLICEMAN: Today is not a good day. Poor policeman. Oh well, I will search for the bumblebees. Goodbye!

NARRATOR: Mr. Chupacabra, would you like to be the Foreign Relations Man of Strange Fairy Tales?

CHUPACABRA: I would love to. ... On behalf of Strange Fairy Tales: You may now clap.

Tada! Thank you for coming, etc. etc.

-The Manager and Technological Supervisor of Strange Fairy Tales

Strange Fairy Tales 22: "La Llorona Cabra"

Ésto es el episodio veintidós de la podcast Strange Fairy Tales.

El elenco de personajes:

  • Los dos abejorros!
  • El hombre con el sombrero!
  • Una policía que está tenido día muy mal!
  • Y MÁS!!!!!

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